A LETTER TO MY CHILD

I'm sure you are aware how I ask you now and then what your "philosophy of life" is, or what your "purpose in living" is, or what's most important to you. I ask because these are very important things; how we understand ourselves and life to be determines our ability to both understand what is going on with ourselves and to withstand that which life seems to throw at us or at least drop us into. It boils down to "knowing oneself."

All this latest stuff that may be occurring in your life is simply part of the play that requires a response from you. It's all just a play, a game of life in which we are involved and, in some way, have chosen for ourselves. But if we are unable to step back and see it from a greater perspective, as a kind of test we have chosen for ourselves, we may find ourselves so affected by it that we allow ourselves to be at the effect of its drama. In truth there are simply things to be done, actions to be taken, new parts of ourselves to be discovered. All the fear and confusion is just there, just part and parcel of life, and as we step into it, we find that it is just what comes with that which is new and unknown. Sometimes we may even believe that we're taking a step backwards, and apparently retreating, but finding oneself in and through "the swamp of name and form," to use the Buddhist metaphor, is a necessary action.

I wake up in extremely severe pain in my back. That's what wakes me up so early every day. It really hurts, and sometimes it makes me sad and anxious, worried that I'll become a vegetable, won't be able to take care of Amy, etc., etc., etc. But I realize it's all ok, that it really is as it is, and that it's fine; I even smile; I even laugh! Some might say that's crazy, but somehow I am able to see it all, including my life and me, in a greater perspective, and this gives me an understanding; it gives me compassion, which is a sense of humor, a sense of knowing on a larger scale. In truth we are much greater that we see ourselves; our minds, ways of thinking, thoughts can be changed by us if we are willing and able to leave our measly little selves behind--at least for a moment, at least a bit. What is so important to us, what we think, how we feel, is nothing when we realize the actual action to be taken or not taken, for that matter. It's not that life or ourselves are relative; rather, it's that life and ourselves are much bigger, much more inclusive, that what we see or think or feel. We hem ourselves in, as it were, and see no way through or out or beyond, even though all of this is right in front of us and available to us. We have to open ourselves and our minds. Once we recognize this, we are amazed at how small-minded and fearful we were. At that point we are able to leave Socrates' cave of illusion and shadow that we once believed to be real.

I hope this make absolute sense to you. It's all a game, even a heart-breaking one. Not easy by any means. Very challenging but also amazing. We're all in it. It's best to learn to play well, with great compassion and understanding.